i was fucking upset and crying and i needed ______. And thats a literal blank. Becauze before the second i was going into the darker place and i was worried about triggers i’d text R or Lia ‘i need you’ or something and it always ended up okay because those two people are just so inside my brain and heart already that they know what i need. But one hates me and one is across the world and i was upset and i took my phone out and i dropped it because i couldn’t think of who to text or who would help me so i just stopped crying and stoned and when i was done staring into space it had been two hours and my eyes were disgusting red sores and i was so so lost and hopeless and confused and thats why i need to find that i need that one thing or one person that i know i can have when i need it and i don’t know what to do about this. All the other people in school have too many of their own issues to care or they just don’t make the effort to be curious about me and get to know me and my issues so theres really no point.